Intentions

A few years ago, I met a man who had certain ambitions. He spoke of his intentions on a daily basis to me, his co-workers, his friends, waiters, strangers.

Although he lived in Illinois, he said he was going to work and live in Washington, DC. Although he'd been in a loveless marriage for more than a decade, he said he wanted to find an amicable way to leave his marriage and find true love. He has done both.

I have lacked focus and intention on my goals. Primarily, I've been ambivalent which makes dedication to a goal difficult. I've left my options open; open to work opportunities that may come along; open to dating men I've met without focusing on where the relationship may lead.

Intentions and determination and focus are not productive without action. So I am taking steps to fulfill my intentions.

1) In order to find a compatible romantic partner, I am using a dating site but not spending time with men who will not ultimately be my romantic partner. This does not mean I will neglect my friends.

2) I've pieced together work to support myself for the past three years, but now I want to intentionally find a full-time position with benefits in a good environment with smart, nice people.

When I was 22, I was on the way to Little Italy in Baltimore and drove past the brand new World Trade Center on Pratt Street. I looked up at the building and the as yet undeveloped Inner Harbor. "I want to work in that building," I said. My date laughed at me, but within three months, i had a job with a growing company in that building and I worked there for almost a decade. I think something like that could happen again.