Red Hot Poker

Tonight, four of the precious members of my creative writing critique group met at an India of Annapolis on West Street. First, let me just say, the food, the wine, the service capture what taste and customer service define: Delicious and attentive.

But the delicacy of the evening is this - I write to them from my heart of hearts. I have been balancing on the high wire of a story for over a decade, balancing on metaphor and simile, sometimes in a sonnet and sometimes in free verse. Tonight, I read the words that were the most difficult.

I thank them but not with words that I can heave into my mouth. They understand the process, the lifeblood, the pulse, of the creative process - the becoming. There are few places where a writer feels like they might undress, knowing there is much, much at fault, and yet knowing, beneath, the bones are solid, strong, and telling. They help me prop the skeleton against the wall and discover the being. I am forever grateful.

Now I just need that red hot poker to keep me writing, writing, writing, the next untold truth (according to me).

Re-incarnated in Unemployment

Unemployment allows me to have shows on during the day that others watched. "Dead Like Me" is a program that comes on in the evenings; I was working days, some nights, and in graduate school and didn't see some series. I have never watched a single episode of "The Sopranos." I don't subscribe to Showtime or Cinemax.

But during daytime programming, they show last seasons episodes. Today, I am becoming acquainted with "Dead Like Me" as I file papers, submit resumes, floss, play with Sally.

"Dead Like Me" features characters who died but did not pass over; rather they exist on earth as grim reapers, escorting the dying through death. I see them as the scores of unemployed, wandering the job market, meeting the newly disenfranchised, sharing secrets and systems of survival in this incarnation.

"The more I try to hold onto my life, the less life I have," says the young protagonist. Indeed. Unemployment creates, well, actually a void. But also unlimited possibility. Actually, not unlimited. I will never be a professional ballerina or ice skater; too late to join the Peace Corp. And it is unlikely that I can even start a new career in medicine or the law, become a horse trainer, pursue an acting career,

"Why do I keep losing all the things and people I care about?" our young protagonist asks. "That what life is," the wizened friend tells her. The viewer is told to try to understand what is left behind.

I cannot decipher the message. Not yet. Most people I meet are in a panic or stumbling into despair about the economy. I cannot. Perhaps it is denial. Perhaps it is because even if everything fails, I get to choose this day, my emotional reaction, my moment, right now. I choose hope, courage, laughter, and a small square of chocolate.

Join me in Creative Journaling

Mary Bargteil is leading a creativity workshop for Anne Arundel Community College.

What is creative journaling? For every student, the creative journal will be a unique, rich reservoir. Through a series of exercises, writers discover the story inside the story, the poem within the poem. For the photographer or painter, discover a new way of seeing the subject, the landscape, the interior.

We will use a variety of prompts and interactive exercises to build a collection of ideas and insights to enrich your creative work.

Dates: Feb. 10, Feb.17, Feb. 24
Hours: 6:30-9:00 PM
Location: Arnold Campus, 101 College Parkway
Course Number: WRG-313-101
Register here!