Walk on By

Yes, it is another one of those days when my horoscope is so accurate that I suspect the writer has been folowing my blog, reading my tweets, stalking me on facebook!

Horoscope for today: Saturday, Apr 18th, 2009 -- You want to take care of those you love, yet you might not want them to know how involved you are in their lives. Part of your current dilemma is that you are connected with your friends and family, even though you're motivated now to increase their independence. It's easy to act as if you are emotionally detached. However, it takes a lot more work to truly give others the freedom they need.

Both of my children (28 and 18) have become more independent this year. Dylan at University of Maryland does not ask for money or food or advice. He moves smoothly through his classes this semester, doing the hard work, managing to eat and sleep enough, exercises and spends time with his friends, returns home to share holiday with friends. I resist phoning him, checking up on him, hugging him too much when I do see him.

Sara has a strong ring of friends that have been onher side since she was a child and now she has a man in her life who is her daily witness, so I am not. Lately we find ourselves unavailable to talk when the other is available so that days slip by without speaking. Neither of us minds so much as we recognize that it is different than it was a year ago. She has heard me spin my dreams of moving away, of shedding my life, for enough years to know that although I want to go, I don't want to be distant from her or Dylan.

But those are not the only people that come to mind when I read this horoscope. When you have been close with someone but realize that you are not ultimately going to enrich their lives; then even if you have a selfish desire to hear from them, to know that they are well, you cannot. To contact them at all distracts and delays them from the very place they must go.

So if you see me walking down the street, just walk on by..."